Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
