part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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