I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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