That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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