i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
