Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
