Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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