My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
