tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
