Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
