I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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