i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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