Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i need some magic done to my vagina
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
