Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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