it hurts more in the daytime
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize