What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
