i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
home. puking in laundry basket.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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