Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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