So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
