i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize