Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
