the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
