If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
