in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
