wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
