we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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