hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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