Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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