My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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