I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize