Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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