I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
