Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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