Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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