no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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