Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize