He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
