Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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