I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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