Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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