I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
