new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize