girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think I have vodka in my lungs
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
