So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
