Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
