So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize