I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
