I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
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