My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
