I accidentally had phone sex last night
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
