Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
