I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
