Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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