That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
