i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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