i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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