I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
