i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
